Thoughts #17: I Wanna Get Better

2/23/25

Hey, hey!

As I've been consideirng this topic the Bleachers song I Wanna Get Better had been running through my head.

If you saw my last post, this one may not come as a surprise. In fact, I think it's a good extension of it.

To directly pair with last blog I want to mention a manga I've been reading through. It's actually m favorite manga of all time, and I'm just not remembering why. (Even if I always knew it was my favorite.)

Let's talk about Fuuka by Seo Kouji.

Fuuka is a story of a young man addicted to social media and his phone. One day he bumps into a girl on the street, and "chaos" insues from that. Turns out she's a student at the same school as him. And he has another run in with her. His phone keeps getting him in trouble, the girl named Fuuka believes he keeps taking unsolicited pictures of her.

The two of them start growing close, and talks of music start arising. Turns out they're both fans of the same band, The Hedgehogs. A bond forms between them, Fuuka finds her dream in life: to become a musician; and our MC finally starts to put down his phone to live in the moment.

It's a wonderful story, that unfortunetelly doesn't recieve much love. It had an anime adaptation a few years back, but I've already expressed how I feel about those. Needless to say, Fuuka makes for a wonderful manga, but a less adequate anime.

There's a lot more to the story, my brief recap really only covers the first few chapters. This is an amazing story full of loss, love, success, and deep failures. I believe Seo Kouji truly expressed the emotions on display in a raw an genuine way.

World of Ngash is not the same.

Obviously that's true. For one, both stories may be fiction but Fuuka takes place in a version of reality and World of Ngash takes place in a fictional world. But that's not what I meant.

I'm more focused on the emotions expressed and the craft on display.

I wanna get better. No, I need to get better.

I don't need to be on the same level as this other artist or any others like him. I need to reach my own level.

Fuuka is all about the world of music and a young band struggling to rise in popularity. All because they want to reach the pros.

I want to do that with my books, in a way.

While I say I'm fine with it being a hobby, that's not the full truth. I want to make money out of this too. I don't want to be a sell-out though. It's a similar story as the main characters in Fuuka. As such I can relate to them a lot.

I am within the last few chapters of Origins II and I'm realizing all the flaws on display. Many I was aware of while I wrote it, yet I pushed them off to later. For example, Origins has a lot of in character descriptions of characters, mostly through their outfits. It's all from Lila's point of view. Meanwhile, the Origins II I have now leaves those descriptions behind. I don't want that, so I need to go back and fix it.

Additionally, some characters have recieved good coverage in this books. Lila and Liam have all the focus, and many important characters appear just enough to keep them and their own stories relavant, while not stealing the spotlight. Then there's Mari. She plays an important role in the beginning of the book, and appears accordingly. Then she vanishes without a trace. Granted the story moves on from hers, but she just feels tossed aside now.

I need to fix this. I need to be better.

As I said last blog, I will find balance between what I want to write and how I need to write. This is the first challenge in my way. I'm just about finished with Origins II, but I think I need to fix some of these issues before I let them fester any longer.

It's almost March, I planned to be finished writing in March and onto editing exclusively. But I can't do that quite yet. All I have left are the final important scenes, but if I have gaps in the story behind me, the story ahead might suffer as well. And I don't want that.

I need to breathe, I need to focus, I need time to get better.

Like the main characters of Fuuka they weren't pro musicians over night. They had to practice and hone their crafts, even then they had boutiful flaws. I am much the same. My ego sometimes will get in the way, but I need more practice.

My time off was just that. It was good practice, writing what I wanted to, and now that I'm back my writing has improved. I'm seeing these flaws now, that's a sign of improvement in it of itself.

I need to practice to get better. I need to write things I want, without the focus on selling everything. I need to practice writing emotions and characters and storylines before I publish. Many of my books have been written and re-written several times, but Origins II wasn't like that. This is my second time writing it. No book of mine had been perfect the second time around, so I'll have to do some major work on it in March if I want to publish in April.

So, I might write some side stories, just for the sake of practice. I want to get better, and this should help. Plus, I can write characters I want to write earlier, or have explainations for things before they begin.

I don't know when I'll start this, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, maybe after Origins II. That needs to be my focus right now, I don't need to get hung up on practice when I just had some a few weeks ago.

Origins II doesn't need to be perfect either, I just want it better than Origins. Which is hard, I think that book was really good! I hope I look back in a few years with a different perspective, meaning my works then will be even better.

These were all thoughts I had a few months ago. But now they're starting to flesh out. I believe it's proof of God and that He's working in my life. Everything seems to happen in perfect timing. I'm learning my flaws in perfect timing and learning how to get better too.

I have a lot of work ahead, this will be a long process.

Reading through a hundred chapters of a manga and seeing characters go from no name high schoolers to well known musicians is misleading. It's easy to think, "Wow they did this in only a few months. For me it was only about a week of reading! I can do that too, in the exact same timing! I want to be a real professional author now, living my dream exactly how I picture it." But that's not life.

I'll keep pressing ahead and accept any guidance God gives me. I know he's set me on this path for a reason. I'm not going to deny him any longer, and I'm not going to deny who he's made me either. I want to be an author, because he has given me that dream. I believe he's also given me the talent as well, though I'm still learning.

Only God know what all this means going forward. But who should care, besides him! If it's in His hands, it's His worry too. I'll just follow his path and find happiness in the moment!

Sorry for another long one, here's some concept art!

Braced Bar

Okay, so this is clearly the Braced Bar, but not as I see it. Take for example that second bartop on the right, that shouldn't be there.

In fact, most of this is inaccurate, maybe I shouldn't share it.

The Braced Bar is massive with two large halls, the front filled with tables and two raised platforms on the sides of the room. There's a series of stairs that lead up ontop of thos platforms. The stairs are near the front door, a set of saloon style doors. Ontop of those platforms are standing bar tables, below are booths set into the bottom of the platform. The last major detail of the front hall is this: along the back wall, set at an angle in the left corner, is a massive bulletin board full of bounty papers. Theres a set of wooden scaffolds on either side where the Braced Bar maids stand to hand out bounties.

Set in the very center of the front hall's back wall is a massive doorway arch, squared off at the edges. It's recangular, running longer side to side than up to down, but it had plenty of headspace for the taller partons, or owners.

The back hall is more similar to this picture above. This is the main hall where actual restaurant goers dine. It's also full of tables and chairs for diners, but they're more spaced out, and set at an angle, so the corners of the tables face the walls. Along the leftmost side of the room is a series of booths, much like the ones out front, but not cramed for headspace.

In the cieling of the man hall is a massive square hole with a chandelier. You can just spot a balcony running the wall of the hole, that is for hotel patrons only.

At the back of the hall is a long bartop, like the one above. It's tall, fit for Mrs. Kyn to comfortably stand behind, and a long row of barstools wrap around it.

To the leftmost side of the hall is an open doorway, leading to a hall, leading past the bathrooms, leading to the hotel rooms above.

Beside that the bartop starts. A flip door is set into the counter where Mrs. Kyn enters. Bartstools run that counter top as well, but it's quite short, only about ten feet long. It then curves off, at 90 degrees, to run it's largest extent, stopping near the corner to curve off towards the front entrance. It stops after a few yards on that side and turns off to connect with the wall. Barstools run this whole way.

So, the space the bartenders have is rather large. It's a giant L-shaped floor plan running from the hotel doorway to the service entrance at the right side of the room. That door is just a few feet off from the wall separating the two halls.

The only real decorations to be seen are behind the bar. It's all bottles of various alcohol. They line the wall, stored in floor to cieling shelving which is built directly into the wall. Lights hang above, giving the space a golden glow.

The vibes in the picture above are similar, but that picture is too fancy and not medieval enough. Thick a rough rugged wooden building, more fit for a western town, than a brick medieval building.

This picture looks like a cozy, upscale bar. While the Braced Bar looks more fit for rowdy ale drinkers from classic fantasy novels.

I don't know any better way to explain it. I need to get better at details like these in the books. But it's hard to explain these things matter-of-factly, while stile through the character frame of view. I need to find balance here as well.

Just another area I need to get better. At least Origins and Origins II have better descriptions than Foundations. That's another issue. One I'll have to approach in Foundations II.

Hope everything makes sense here. These blogs are a sort of practice for me as well. So it's all in good use.

Have a great day!